Posts Tagged ‘ voyeur ’

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voyeuralgia <~)

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Remember when…

:: I remember saying that if I joined Facebook, I would not solicit Friends beyond the people I am currently in contact with. Well, whadya know… I am now searching for long-lost childhood friends. Just when I think I’ve searched for all of them, another one comes to mind. I find myself stopping whatever it is I am doing on my computer to go into Fbook to see if I can find them. After awhile it becomes a game of sorts, a scavenger hunt. What is the drive behind this quest? I don’t think it’s to start up new conversations necessarily….I say this because of my lack of ability to stay up to date with the people I hang out with on a regular basis. I was a bit obsessed for awhile, but the obsession has worn off now. I imagine this is why I haven’t been “searched out” for as much as I thought I would be…everyone else has been on FB for at least a couple of years, thus the novelty of the search has worn off. [Paranoid self: “Or maybe they could give a rat’s ass about me?”]

What is this developmental phase of FB?………………

< Is it curiosity? [What has become of them? Where are they living and what are they doing?] > Is it nostalgia? [Remember when we used to make igloos in the school yard? Remember that smurf-themed birthday party I had?] > Is it voyeurism? [Why don’t I just click on all their photos without friending them? If I’m not sending personal messages, why do I need to know what they are doing on a weekly basis?] > Is it ego-driven? [Why won’t they accept my Friend request?] >

:: I remember saying that if I joined Facebook, I would either be on it too much or never — another one of my all-or-nothing self identifying characteristics. Because Selfpost adheres to a project manifesto that requires me to bare all for others to view, I self-monitor how well I am following the guidelines. Because of the manifesto, I am reaching out to acquaintances and friends to an extent that I would normally not embrace. And I’m getting something back in return...a connection between past selves and present selves, the far and the recent past, a sense of warmth, and a sense of being part of something.

Late to the party


It’s always a bit awkward to show up at the end of a party. The food has been picked over, the gifts have been opened, and those remaining are either too drunk or too tired to engage in good conversation. Reasons for arriving late most often relate to previous commitments scheduled for the same evening. But remember back in high school when it was cool to hang out with your core group of friends before moving on to the ‘big’ party. And sometimes in the process of the ‘before party,’ everyone would decide to stay put and forget about the ‘big party’. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe the ‘deciding to stay put’ came with age and laziness. I think it also depended on the weather…who wants to leave a nice cozy house to venture out into the freezing cold snow or rain, to risk the potential of a dead party?

I planned a late entrance to the FB party. First I was a voyeur, planning my attack from afar, lurking with caution. After listening to the experiences of party goers — the constant invites from people you don’t remember from high school that you would have nothing in common with, the persistence of wanna be friends who won’t give up the promising relationship they foresee with you, and the barrage of unnecessary visual information streaming minute by minute — I initially restrained from accepting the invites until I sensed that the novelty had worn off and it was safe to enter. Maybe now, there will be less chance of that annoying guy sequestering me in the corner to entertain me with his ’humour’ for hours.

I’m not the only one who decided to wait to ‘join’ > http://mashable.com/2010/04/08/south-park-facebook-episode/

Now I get the feeling that the party might be over….and that the cool people are deciding to call it a night. I know that some of my friends left before I even got here…

There’s this other party starting up down the street that might be good…

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